


All About You

by Ukyo



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, Blow Jobs, Bottom Lee Taemin, Comedy, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Love at First Sight, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Top Kim Jonghyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23548327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ukyo/pseuds/Ukyo
Summary: “That person will just struck me with a car when I’m walking across the street. That person gets out of the car and comes to check on me. Our eyes meet, I fall in love from first sight and that person also gets to like me, because you get to be in that mood when you feel weak. As for dating well, I hope it will be something of destiny first of all.”
Relationships: Kim Jonghyun/Lee Taemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	1. love is a destiny thing

**Author's Note:**

> hi. while i'm re-writing 'dark mode killer' i decided to not only improve my skills but to communicate with this fandom more 6v6 i hope you will like it~   
> i will try to update this one as much as i can ^^,

\- - -

  
_2015.05.15._

  
Lee Taemin – twenty one year old, almost twenty two in a few months. Still single, lives with his mother and uncle Hyukjae, who is always mocking him for never finding any date. And maybe Taemin would, but there is no point when he lives like that, it would be just one more trouble in his already troublesome life. Taemin takes a sip of his bubble tea, then leans against the counter, chin resting on his palms while he's waiting for Jongin, one of his best friends who’s apparently late as always and somehow Taemin’s mind drifts to his ‘dating’ history if you can call it that.

_Christmas party 2009:_

  
Taemin's mother’s friend and coworker introduced him to her daughter – Son Naeun. Their conversation was awkward. She was babbling complete nothings about how hard it is to be a teenager, meanwhile, Taemin stood there while drinking his hot chocolate, nodding to all of her statements despite that most of the time he didn’t get anything that she is saying. 

  
Taemin was sure that guys attract him more than girls, but he wasn’t sure why. He never talked about that with his mother or uncle not to mention his friends, because he already had common sense that it’s not natural or more precisely not accepted. He searched all over the internet about that, but most of the stories and experiences were about friends and family just turning their backs and he definitely wasn’t prepared to be left alone. 

  
‘All teenagers are dating these days Taemin-ah. You should try it too.’ Know-it-all Kim Jongin’s words, negative pressure from society and fear to lose everyone dear to Taemin made him decide: why not? Maybe he will change his mind about girls or at least he will be sure he has no interest in them, but one way or another he will lose nothing.

  
They gave their numbers to each other. Met for a few times at the café and park. They never ate same ‘sundae’, never held hands, there weren’t any hugs or kisses. Nothing romantic at particular, like two friends hanging around, but still everyone at school, dance class, and home started to think that they were a couple. When did Taemin ask Naeun to be his girlfriend? He wasn’t sure, because he didn’t and wasn’t even planning to because the whole point of meeting her was curiosity only.

  
Saturday afternoon after three months of _‘dating’_ Taemin called Naeun and offered her to meet up. For the first time, because all other times she was the one who asked him out. The real purpose behind their _‘date’_ was to clear misunderstanding about the whole _‘couple’_ thing. _“There can’t be friends between girl and guy. I’m sorry.”_ After Taemin’s words, Naeun’s face darkened. _“Friends?”_ Her furrowed eyebrows betrayed that she misunderstood their meetings as well. She jumped up from her seat and slammed her small fists against the table. 

  
She called Taemin girly, because of his long and light brown dyed hair and slender figure. _“You know, you can date guys because women like manly men!”_ She shouted loudly making other costumers in the café look their way, but Taemin didn’t mind that. He looked at the girl in front of him with antipathy and it made her even more annoyed. _“Don’t you ever dare to call me Lee Taemin! Do you hear me!?”_ And then Naeun dashed out. Why she bothered to tell him things like that? Taemin wouldn’t have contacted her anyways. Women are too complicated. 

True is that she was right at some point. Puberty wasn’t merciful towards him and he wasn’t as manly as his classmates and other guys his age, but Taemin wasn’t hurt about that. He never tried to charm girls and being a manly man wasn’t Taemin’s priority. Back then five years ago everything he cared about was dancing. Dancing until perfection, until he would be satisfied with his movements. Dancing until his body would surrender and he collapsed, his muscles refusing to do anything except lying motionless on the dance class floor leaving him to stare at the plain ceiling above him. 

_Early 2012 autumn:_

As every single Friday Taemin was cleaning dance studio after all week practices. He was cleaning the mirror when the door to the studio opened and Jongin slipped inside, after him unfamiliar girl. Jongin introduced her as Choi Jinri - his cousin. They all went to the café, the same café Taemin is in right now, even all interior still the same. Jongin was excited about the upcoming weekend, laughing and talking nonstop meanwhile Jinri was watching Taemin from the other side of the table with a giddy smile on her chubby face. What a weird girl, Taemin thought then. 

  
What a ‘coincidence' - Jinri signed up for the same dance class as him, despite that her dancing skills weren’t the best. Jongin asked Taemin if he can help her for a bit. Taemin had plenty of other things to do, but he wasn’t able to refuse and say no to his friend also this girl is his relative. Three times a week, after dance classes Jinri stayed for the extra class, but instead of learning seriously most of the time she spends staring at him through the mirror and daydreaming instead of learning dance moves.

  
At first, Taemin though to give Jinri a bit of time, but when after a month of extra classes she brought him homemade chocolates and such a small gesture of her made Taemin freak out. And it’s not that Taemin doesn’t like chocolate, but because he realized Jinri’s intentions. Somehow they ended up sitting on the floor and talking instead of dancing that day. Taemin explained that he can’t teach her anymore because she misunderstood his generosity. Jinri insisted and offered to pay for if he will continue to help her. Money was really necessary to Taemin if he wanted to help Hyukjae to pay hospital expenses for his mother.

  
Classes with Jinri were fun and she started to look at her dancing a bit more seriously. Taemin though that he found one more friend to hang out and talk with, but he wasn’t aware that Jinri still saw their friendship in a bit different way. After two more months, she brought tickets for a movie and convinced Taemin that it’s just a friendly gesture of her and that’s how she wanted to say ‘thank you’ for his help. 

It was a sappy romance movie, but actually, Taemin preferred horror movies instead. He was bored and almost sleeping when Jinri placed her head on his shoulder. That was unexpected and Taemin jumped from his seat, looking at her with wide eyes. After all his suspicion that she liked him was true, but Taemin didn’t like Jinri back in the way she wanted. He had to cancel their extra classes despite that he was paid for that. Taemin would rather wash dishes in a nearby café where he worked as a part-timer than listen to everyone’s gossips about Jinri who is pretending to be his girlfriend to make his ex ‘boyfriend’ jealous of him. His ‘boyfriend’ Kibum who actually wasn’t his boyfriend, but that’s another story. Unbelievable how stupid people can be, talking while not even knowing the truth. 

\- - -

  
Finally, Jongin shows up. He rushes into the café and hurriedly he finds his friend. Jongin is catching his breath like he was running there all the way from his home. “I’m so sorry.” He sits on the tall bar chair, beside Taemin. “I’m sorry, I’m late I know, and---”  
Taemin rolls his eyes not because he is mad at his friend or something just because Jongin has a tendency to be late and even after ten years of their friendship nothing has changed and probably it will never change.

Suddenly Jongin smirks. “I found you a date.” 

Taemin frowns. “I don’t need---“. He is about to protest when Jongin starts to talk on top of him.

“Lee Youngheum, the new guy in our dancing class.”

New guy? Why Taemin doesn’t remember anyone new. His eyes wide and blinking fast while looking at his friend. Jongin looks back at confused Taemin. Seriously? Each year Taemin becomes dumber and absorbs his surroundings less. Jongin rolls his eyes. “Boy with bright red hair.” 

When Taemin thinks a little bit more, true someone new came to their class, but actually, he never pays attention to anyone. He sees no point to waste his time checking out the newbies. But when Taemin thinks a bit more and a bit more that’s true red hair stands out between boring browns and blacks. So after all Taemin did notice him.

  
Youngheum dances just a few steps away from Taemin and he has to admit that newbie knows why he is on their dance class because he got quite impressive skills, but except for good dancing and obnoxious bright hair he doesn’t stand out much from others. Petite boy with oversized sweaters which mostly cover everything down to his palms completely and it’s hard to tell if he has nice shoulders or not, slim legs and that’s all about him. Damn it, Taemin actually noticed him.

  
“What made you decide that he wants to be my date?” Taemin sips his bubble tea.

  
“No. He decided by himself.”

  
How come? Taemin never talked with redhead and he didn’t even know Youngheum’s name until Jongin told him. The younger one starts to explain that actually, Youngheum noticed Taemin when Youngheum visited dance school with his classmates. That day Hyukjae told dance class to perform for visitors that they would know what dancers are learning in his classes at the moment. Youngheum was mesmerized by Taemin’s flawless body movements and his beautiful androgynous appearance, but younger didn’t have any courage to talk to the older boy that he wouldn’t make a fool of himself knowing what attitude their country has about sexual minorities. 

  
After that Youngheum asked and asked Jongin about Taemin. He asked from where Jongin knows Taemin, how old is he and what elder male likes also fanboyed about Taemin’s dancing skills. In three months Youngheum created plans on how to get into the same class with Taemin until finally, he entered exams where he was able to show his best skills and was accepted. 

\- - -

All human beings crave to have their second half to feel love and closeness, but Taemin doesn’t understand that probably because he was single for way too long. Also, who would be dumb enough to be with him anyway? He has nothing to offer, no, he is that nothing. 

  
Despite his own thoughts about himself, Taemin is quite popular in the cafe where he works. He gets good tips especially from noonas and older, around their forties, men. Same people over and over again. Taemin has no interest in them as well as in anyone else and it’s not about their age and the high possibility that almost all of them would probably fit for his parent role, he is just not interested that’s all. 

  
Taemin appreciates his friend’s help, he really does, but as always Jongin went too far. He watches how younger one flairs his hands in the air while explaining his ‘brilliant’ idea and Taemin wishes he would be able to say no to his friend, but he can’t, not after so many years of their friendship. He takes a large sip of his bubble tea while still continuing to listen -not listen- when Jongin asks out of blue.

“Tell me, what an ideal way of meeting that special one would be, Taemin-ah?”

  
“Why do you even ask that?”

  
“Because you always seem unhappy about any kind of relationship.”

  
Taemin rolls his eyes in annoyance, how many times he has to explain himself? There should be something to shut Jongin up for a while. “That person will just struck me with a car when I’m walking across the street. “ Jongin chokes on his bubble tea and turns towards elder one, eyes big in shock, but Taemin ignores that and continues talking. “That person gets out of the car and comes to check on me. Our eyes meet, I fall in love from first sight and that person also gets to like me, because you get to be in that mood when you feel weak. As for dating… hmmm… well, I hope it will be something of destiny first of all.”

  
“Waitress!” Jongin shouts leaning over the counter.

  
“What the hell are you doing?” Taemin grabs Jongin by his shirt.

  
“I just want to be sure there wasn’t anything weird in this tea that made you talk nonsense like that.” Jongin watches Taemin with wide eyes, for him it’s hard to understand what’s going on in his friend’s mind. 

\- - -

  
Taemin is standing by a crescent moon shaped bar. Neon green cocktail in one hand, in another mobile phone, while he is texting Jongin who’s apparently late, no wonder. Taemin slips the phone back to his pocket and leans against the counter. He glances at the other side of the bar where a girl is standing, she has been watching him from the moment Taemin entered the club. Heavy makeup, long and wavy dark brown hair, glittery red dress with an obscene neckline. Somehow she looks familiar, but because of dim lights Taemin isn’t able to look at her properly. His phone buzzes. 

  
_Jongin:_   
_‘We are at Soojung, just picking her up and we are coming, sorry’_   
_20:10_

  
Taemin takes a big gulp of his drink and frowns, he’s already waiting for them for about half an hour so he can wait another half an hour it’s not a big deal or something.

Taemin considers if he should order another drink when the girl who was watching him appears from nowhere.“Hi.” She smiles, but after a moment her smile fades away like she just realized something. She squints closer and that's kind of creepy. “Taemin? Lee Taemin.”

  
Taemin looks at her, eyes wide. So, after all, she knows him, but why he doesn’t know her? Who is she? The girl looks at him from head to toes. “Holy shit, it’s really you. Who could have even thought that from a tiny little girl you will grow up to look like this, oppa?” 

  
Son Naeun? Taemin never thought that he would ever see this girl ever again, but there she is standing in front of him a little bit tipsy and all grown up and different in appearance, but it’s still her. His silence and shock probably took too long and there she finds another thing to say while hitting his hand.

“You never called me.” 

“You told me not to.”

And there she pouts and is about to say another thing and probably blame him, but Taemin isn’t prepared to listen to drunk people’s nonsense when suddenly he feels a pair of hands wrapping around his arm. He looks down and he sees Jinri who's smiling stupidly. Another moment and she starts to drag Taemin through the sea of people, leaving Naeun behind, until they reach the table in the very corner where Jongin, Soojung and Youngheum already wait for them.

\- - -

  
Cocktail after cocktail, but their conversation isn’t getting any more interesting for Taemin. Despite that his head is already spinning quite a lot, the boy with bright red hair isn’t getting any hotter. Youngheum talks about various dancing techniques meanwhile Taemin feels not interested even if it's about dancing, eyes looking everywhere except to the younger one while he fiddles his phone on the bar.

  
Instead of wasting time while drinking Taemin would have rather checked the internet for another part-time job or cleaned his room because soon he won’t be able to find his own bed. At least he isn’t spending his own money, because Youngheum is the one who insisted to buy drinks for Taemin tonight. 

  
In the corner behind the table, Jinri is looking at them from the moment Taemin went to the bar alongside with Youngheum. How long her patience will last before she follows after him? When will she finally realize that Taemin never liked her in any romantic way to begin with and that he never will? Never. Taemin texted Kibum quite a while ago, asking his friend for a lift home, somehow he feels like he doesn’t want to go home with taxi tonight. When Taemin is drunk he has a tendency to get in trouble. Finally his phone on the bar buzzes.

  
“Thank you for tonight Youngheum, but I think I should get going home.” Taemin makes an apologetic smile he doesn’t want to look rude, ungrateful or nasty person to the younger man. After all, he and Youngheum have to go to the same dance classes and see each other at least three times a week. 

  
“We can go home together, hyung.” Youngheum smiles. His words are supposed to be just a friendly gesture without any hidden intentions, in Youngheum’s eyes Taemin is too drunk to go home alone with a cab. Also, he likes elder male and if something bad would happen to Taemin, Youngheum would regret forever that he let him go home alone. Even so his words sounded so wrong and both of them noticed that.

  
Taemin frowns. “Do you think I’m that cheap?” Words stuck behind his teeth, tongue stubborn not listening to him properly while the rest of the world spins wildly. Without waiting for the answer Taemin starts to walk, stumble, towards the door pushing through the noisy crowd. 

  
“It’s a first date, hyung! That wasn't what I meant. Wait! Hyung!” Youngheum shouts, but obviously Taemin doesn’t hear him or he doesn’t even want to.

  
Now Taemin probably thinks that Youngheum is some sort of pervert who wants to hook up on the first date. How he will look at his hyung on Monday dance class? This is just a drunk misunderstanding. Youngheum dashes after Taemin, maybe he will be able to talk and solve everything. 

\- - -

  
Cool spring night air hits Taemin’s skin when he is outside, finally escaping from the sweaty and drunk crowd of people. Escaping from his friends, from Jinri’s glares and Youngheum’s poor flirting. Taemin is standing on the stairs looking up at the clear sky while thinking that he would have rather sat in small balcony which is cramped with, in Taemin’s opinion, useless junk. He could have drank fruit tea and looked at those stars which lost their brightness because of the city lights. The sky is beautiful tonight.

  
Everything Taemin wants at this moment is to find Kibum and go home, take a shower and slip into his bed forgetting all nonsense about this date, drunk women and night club which is soaked in alcohol. Taemin takes his phone and checks Kibum’s message. 

  
_Kibumie Hyung:_

_‘We parked on the other side of the street. Waiting for you.’_

_1:10_

  
Taemin spots the familiar car on the other side of the street. Kibum and Hyeri are leaning against the side of it arguing as always. Taemin wonders how they are still together after their countless fights and how is it even possible to continue a problematic relationship like that, but who is he to judge as a person without any real dating experience. He walks into the street without looking around, it's quite late so there shouldn’t be many cars also why to waste time and go through the passage which is just a few steps away if he can go just straight. 

“Hyung, wait!” Youngheum shouts after him.

  
Blinding bright light and suddenly world starts to spin more than before and Taemin’s legs give up on him. Is it possible that the cocktail he drank before leaving the club has delayed effect or something? Pain in his head and arm proves that it wasn’t alcohol after all. The world continues to go in circles and is it possible that he was hit by the car? Just ‘perfect’ ending for this whole evening, karma for people who are crossing a street in the wrong place. 

  
Despite that Taemin’s ears are buzzing he still can hear voices around him. People bustle and familiar voice in the distance shouts ‘Heol!’ Kibumie hyung? ‘I will call the ambulance.’ Hyeri? “Is that blood? It’s blood...” Youngheum’s voice sounds petrified. 

  
"My God, I just killed a person."

Taemin hears another panicking voice that is unfamiliar but somehow stands out from the others. Pleasing and sweet spice in the pain and misfortune’s salad. Unfamiliar person peeks above him. Light brown, dyed hair with dark roots, dark eyebrows forming a straight line and eyes wide probably from shock, but at the same time concerned. A handsome face with sharp cheekbones and thick lips. There is a high chance that Taemin died because he sees an angel when suddenly Kibum peeks above him as well proving that he is still there on earth. Everything starts to blur until only darkness is left. 

  
But the world doesn’t stop - it’s still spinning.


	2. Decide yourself

2015.05.16.

The familiar, disturbing smell of medicine and pain awakes Taemin. Headache which is splitting his head into two and not to even mention his right arm. Slowly he opens his eyes and blinks quickly trying to adjust to the brightness of the ward. Right hand immobilized into gypsum cone. With his left hand’s fingers Taemin touches his face. Plaster on his chin, split lip, scratched cheek, swollen right eye and a huge bandage on his frothed attached with multiple layers of more bandages that go around his head. Taemin starts to feel petrified after he realizes that after all he was hit by a car. Noting good. Noting good at all.

He can hear rustling behind the ward’s door. Few familiar voices. Hyukjae, Kibum, Hyeri and that unfamiliar, but sweet voice from yesterday. They’re all arguing about something, talking on top of each other and Taemin isn’t able to understand who says what.

Taemin knows Hyukjae’s overprotective nature and his uncle's burning character so he’s probably showing dissatisfaction about this whole situation meanwhile the couple is trying to calm him down a bit as always. Another female voice joins their ‘little’ discussion shushing there echoing voices. ‘Mister Kim, you are still not allowed to leave.’ She says calmly. ‘But I’m feeling just fine.’ The owner of beautiful voice whines.

So angelic voice owner's surname is Kim. Taemin pouts he knows it’s not the time to think about things like that, but he still wants to know his name as well. Before the corridor goes quiet again, Hyukjae shouts. ‘Don’t you think that this conversation is over Kim?! Do you hear me?! Do you hear me?!’ ‘Oppa, calm down before security tells us to leave.’ Hyeri shushes his opprobrious uncle.

Still a little bit dizzy from medicine Taemin didn’t even realize how he fell asleep again and when he awakes next time it is late afternoon already. In his a bit drowsy state, Taemin sees a young female nurse who comes to check in on him. Blood pressure and medicine. She asks if Taemin is feeling alright, does he feel any pain or dizziness, but after almost all day of sleep, he is feeling just fine. The nurse exits the ward leaving him alone, staring through the window to the neverending city and drowned in warm and yellow sun.

Hyukjae was there early in the morning to visit Taemin, but the younger one was asleep so he missed his uncle, but there is still some time for visiting hours and---.

After a faint knock, the door of the ward opens and a mop of light brown hair peeks inside. “Can I come in?” It’s him. It’s really him. The owner of incredibly beautiful voice, the angel from yesterday.

Taemin loses his ability to talk, just nods. He shouldn't stare too much at the dreadfully handsome man, but it’s really hard to do that because Taemin has never seen anyone as good looking as mister 'Kim' is.

The dark blue sweater that perfectly highlights brown-haired male’s broad shoulders and his slim waist, deep v neck which exposes smooth neck and sharp collarbones, even that small mole between them looks perfect. Black, skinny jeans nicely fit against his well-toned and a little bit x shaped legs. Taemin swallows nervously, definitely too much staring. Too much. Stop looking before it gets creepy.

Brown-haired man’s eyebrows a straight line as he comes closer to Taemin's bed. “I feel really bad about what happened yesterday. Also about your broken arm."

Conjured by incredibly handsome man Taemin just nods, his words still somewhere in the air the same as his mind.

"One of your friends told me that you are a dancer and it’s going to be a hassle for you.”

Taemin sights. Kim Kibum, damn it that man never stays quiet, if someone would pay him for talking he would be a multi-millionaire. “I- I am.” Taemin murmurs shyly under his nose.

“Oh." Visitor similes brightly. "So after all you have a voice and I already started to think that you are mute.”

Shame starts to burn Taemin’s face. How is he supposed to answer, Taemin isn’t sure so instead he watches his left hand resting on his lap while playing with fluffy material of the blanket between his fingers? The extremely handsome man beside his bed probably thinks that Taemin is dumb. Be curses his shy nature. Few seconds of awkward silence fills the ward.

The brown-haired man clears his throat. “I really don’t want this whole incident to reach media, because they always blow everything out of proportion.” He pulls a small card from his back pocket and walks towards the end of the bed.

Taemin's eyes follow brown-haired male, how he pulls a pen from a plastic box attached to his bed and walks towards the small cabinet in the front. How he leans against it and starts to write something. Taemin watches how the man wiggles his butt, but how not to? Not every day he sees man as handsome as him. What he is even doing? Taemin bites his lip completely forgetting about how badly his face is injured and he jumps, because of the pain which washes all over his raw scratched lips. He deserves it.

Brown-haired male hands the card to Taemin. “This is the address of the company I work for and my work number. When they let you out visit me, okay?”

There are few numbers printed on the card, and one lined underneath with a blue pen. ‘Kim Jonghyun’. 'God, even his name is nice.' And the way Jonghyun smiles. Such a beautiful and warm smile which makes Taemin's heart so weak. Jonghyun is a handsome man, way too handsome, meanwhile, Taemin probably left such an 'unforgettable' impression from a bad side with his swollen and raw scratched face.

And Jonghyun smiles and smiles looking at him and somehow Taemin looks back at Jonghyun and smiles as well, at least as much as his swollen face allows him. Taemin can swear that his heart never beat this fast in his entire life when suddenly Jongin, Jinri and Youngheum dashes into his ward not even minding to knock. Why? Why? WHY? Taemin just wanted to admire Jonghyun just a little bit more.

\- - -

Taemin should visit his mom she’s probably sick worried after Hyukjae told her that Taemin got in the car accident. Holding drip stand as his support Taemin limps towards the hospital elevator at the end of the corridor. There is a mirror on the front wall where he can see his face which now looks worse than Taemin imagined after touching it this morning. He takes the card, that Jonghyun gave him earlier, from his robe’s front pocket and examines it. The company that works with models, actors, singers, dancers and other people who are connected to entertainment and fashion industry.

Why Taemin is still thinking about Jonghyun? Even if his face wouldn’t be injured so badly, what kind of chances he has? If Taemin likes men that doesn’t mean Jonghyun likes them as well, also he is surrounded by extraordinary people all the time, meanwhile, Taemin compered to them feels like nothing, like complete dust. Also, such a perfect man as Jonghyun probably already has that special someone in his life. Still drowned in his own thoughts Taemin enters the familiar ward.

Today she looks worse. Worse than two days ago when Taemin saw his mother last time. Oxygen tube connected to her nose and her hands which are placed on her lap are as white as a porcelain cup. Hair loosely falling on her shoulders slightly covering her face, but not able to hide how tired she is. Black circles under her eyes show that she probably wasn’t sleeping well tonight. "Taeminie." She smiles, so faintly.

Taemin limps through the ward towards his mother’s bed. He sits on the edge of it. She stretches her arm towards Taemin’s face and presses her palm against his left cheek “Baby, I was so worried.” A small sob escapes her mouth. “Hyukjae came in the morning and told me what happened yesterday.”

Taemin places his unharmed hand on the top of hers, seeing tears in his mother’s tired face breaks his heart, she doesn’t deserve more pain in her life and he feels how guilt starts to rise up in his chest. She cries. She cries because of him.

“Mom, I'm alright, don’t worry.” Taemin forces a fake smile.

"Baby, you should be more careful and stop scaring me like that."

"I'm sorry, mom."

At the same time, ahjumma who shares the ward with Taemin's mother enters it, a nurse helping her to walk.

“Grandchild.” Ahjumma smiles. Just happy to see him. Grandma Jung knows Taemin from when he was sixteen, from the first day he came to visit his mother at the hospital. She never forgets his birthday and always feeds Taemin with homemade dumplings and sweets her daughter brings her. Even if Taemin says no she insists that he is way too skinny and that he needs to eat more. Ahjumma has no grandchildren of her own and in Taemin’s opinion it’s quite sad so he lets her treat him like one. If it makes her happy, even if it’s just a little bit, it’s okay.

\- - -

2015.06.02.

Weekly soap opera with Hyukjae’s favorite actor Choi Minho as the main role. A cup of coffee and itchy feeling under gypsum on his hand. Two weeks had passed after his and Jonghyun’s first and last meeting and Hyukjae insisted Taemin to meet the 'rich man' once more. Maybe it will be useful after all Taemin still can’t work, but the younger one said ‘no’.

Taemin was lucky enough that this whole situation ended just like this. That Jonghyun didn’t sue him, because of his irresponsible and drunk behavior. If Jonghyun did sue Taemin he would have had to pay for all the damage and his own hospital expenses. Knowing his finances Taemin would have to find one more job if that would be enough, so better leave everything how it is after all Jonghyun paid for it. More than enough 'use'.

Finally, Hyugjae agreed, admitting that Taemin is right, at least for once, but now Taemin is the one who started to deny himself. How is it even possible? Did he really like Jonghyun that much? He can't stop thinking about him these two weeks. Jonghyun is stubbornly stuck in Taemin's mind refusing to leave him alone and smiling with that beautiful, bright smile. Or maybe it’s because of Taemin's financial struggles, he isn’t sure anymore.

What Taemin will lose if he goes to visit Jonghyun? Well maybe just a little bit of his sanity, but no one besides him would know that, right?

It would be so nice to see Jonghyun again. It would be so nice to see Jonghyun’s beautiful smile for real not only in his mind and hear his angelic voice once more. What if he will offer something for Taemin? Not for nothing, Jonghyun mentioned about Taemin’s dancing skills, but that is only an excuse. Excuse for Taemin to go. If he doesn’t go now, in the future Taemin will find more excuses that will allow him to go there anyway.

Taemin finishes drinking his coffee. Maybe he should go to make another cup? Maybe he should stop thinking about Jonghyun and business card elder one gave him? The card that is placed in his room on the table. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe, but he just can’t and his legs carry him to his room. He takes the card from the table, looks at the number and Jonghyun's name and swallows nervously. It’s going to be just a small visit, nothing more.

What he should wear? Something colorful or black? Casual or something suitable for a job interview. Taemin takes fancy jacket out from a closet which he bought not a long time ago and he didn’t wear it not even once. Why he feels so nervous about the outfit? Is he trying to impress Jonghyun or something?

\- - -

By the time Taemin reaches the company building it’s noon. Almost time for lunch break. A fascinating building in front of him, sparkling in the blinding yellow sun. Two weeks ago nobody would have thought that destiny is going to bring him here not even Taemin himself. All the way there he tried to convince himself that he has to do it for his mother and Hyukjae, but how it is for real? The real reason is that he wants to do it for himself. Isn’t he selfish? Oh well, he probably is, but let him be selfish at least for once.

The moment Taemin steps inside the lobby, his jaw drops and he feels dazzled by the chandeliers made from crystal beads. They’re all sparkling and leaving rainbow gleam on the ceiling and walls ‘Oh God, where am I?’ Taemin feels lost, he doesn’t know where to go or how to act in the sea of fancy-dressed people. Everybody looks like they just stepped out of the fashion magazine, everyone looks so sure of themselves and Taemin feels so small compared to them. Maybe he should quit this idea and go home instead. No. He already went more than half of the way, he can’t run away.

Somehow Taemin manages to reach the reception table. Somehow he manages to tell his name to the receptionist and somehow he manages to stand still while waiting and watching blond man talking on the phone. Now it’s definitely too late to run away. Too late to run when he was told where to go, just a few floors and corridors separating him from Jonghyun and Taemin feels nervous way too nervous, unable to explain why. He’s positive Jonghyun doesn’t like men, but if he would it would be too good to be true, hope is the mother of all the idiots.

The stunning and beautiful city now laid under Taemin’s feet distracting him from his thoughts, just a little bit and only when elevator dings he registers that he is already on the right floor. Elevator doors open and Taemin is met with the white, shiny floor which looks more like a mirror than the actual floor. The mirror should be hanged on the wall not placed on the floor. All the walls windows, chandeliers, matching the ones at reception, are all glistening in the raspberry-colored light. Taemin swallows, his mouth feels dry like desert. Run Taemin, run. No. ‘Why you even came there?’ Taemin takes a hesitant step out of the elevator. The floor feels slippery under his feet.

Cautiously Taemin moves towards the table across the room, where a woman with cherry red hair is looking through some papers. Her eyebrows are scrunched together and her lips are pressed into a thin line. “G-good morning.” Taemin tries to sound as normal as possible, but his voice comes out in a weird way and it’s noon, not morning. If he isn’t able to talk to a random worker how he will be able to talk to Jonghyun?

The woman just smiles at him making Taemin feel stupid. “Mister Kim is waiting for you.”

“T-thank you.” Taemin bows and starts to walk to the direction the woman pointed.

A light wood door appears in front of Taemin and he starts to gasp for air and it feels like his jacket which hangs on his shoulders is pressing him to the floor, too heavy and too hot and he needs air. Taemin fixes his hair blindly, maybe just from reflex, he tries to cover plaster which is still on his forehead. Taemin knocks on the door faintly. “Come in.” Says the voice from another side of the door. That incredibly beautiful voice that makes Taemin feel dizzy and Jonghyun doesn’t even know what kind of effect his voice alone has on him.

Taemin unctuously opens the heavy door. “H-hello?” He can feel the sweet smell of flowers that fills the air in the room and it’s spacious and bright. On the left side huge aquarium full of colorful fishes on the right bookshelf, next to it a small cabinet with a silver tray with a decanter set on the top of it. Behind the black wood table, a huge leather chair in which Jonghyun is sitting while playing with spring pen between his fingers.

Slim legs in skinny ripped jeans, button-up and classy jacket casualty drabbed over the shoulders, everything is black. Dark hair nicely styled into a mushroom-like cut and completely covering his forehead. Jonghyun’s mouth falls open unconsciously and the pen he was playing with springs somewhere on the floor, but he doesn’t mind about it unable to believe his eyes, how pretty the male in front of him looks. Taemin looks like no one else Jonghyun met before, way too beautiful to be real and it’s hard to believe that he is the same person from the hospital.

Unable to form any more words Jonghyun just watches how slim figure dressed in black comes closer and now Taemin standing in the front of him, eyes big and lost. How is it possible for a man to look this beautiful?

“Please take a seat.” Finally, words come back to Jonghyun.

“T-thank you.”

Jonghyun sees how Taemin’s cheeks catch a soft shade of pink. So, after all, he was right that the younger one is shy. Jonghyun likes that. It’s kind of cute. Taemin is cute. People with who Jonghyun works lost their shyness a long time ago and he doesn’t remember when he saw someone like him. Someone like Taemin.

“How’s your arm?”

“Doctor said it needs about four more weeks to completely heal… Jonghyun-ssi…” “Ssi?”

Jonghyun starts to laugh. “Now I feel like ahjussi.”

“S-sorry...” Taemin murmurs barely audible, small and invisible drowned in the chair. Face, instead of pink, bright red. He feels like he said something wrong.

“No, no it’s fine. It’s just that no one calls me like that. Call me hyung. Okay?”

“Hyung…”

“That’s better.” Jonghyun smiles faintly while flipping through the papers laid on his table. “Well until your hand will heal I can’t offer you anything, unless a cup of coffee, of course, if you don’t mind.” He probably sounds cheesy as hell, but whatever if it works.

Of course, Taemin doesn’t mind. If he would have enough courage he would ask Jonghyun exactly same question. Jonghyun smiles, smiles so beautifully it hurts and Taemin’s heart dies just a little bit. He was already crazy enough to come there in the first place because he just wanted to see Jonghyun and Taemin never thought that his small visit will end like that. Jonghyun keeps smiling and Taemin feels like he will pass out any second, for sure. Does this coffee mean anything? He should answer something, right.

“I would love to, hyung.” It sounds quite desperate. Most likely it is, but Taemin can’t stop smiling back unable to control his facial expression. And he probably looks like an idiot, but he doesn’t care. He feels happiness bubbling somewhere deep inside of him and he likes that feeling, he really does.

“There is a café on the other side of the street. Deserts are the best there."

Not too far place for an hour lunch break and a perfect opportunity to talk to Taemin just a little bit more, maybe not as much as Jonghyun would want to, but it’s better than nothing.

\- - -

Jonghyun is such a handsome man indeed and now Taemin is going for a coffee with him. Unbelievable. Awkwardly younger pushes the door open and glances backward towards the brown-haired male, still unable to believe. A brilliant and warm smile on the elder’s face when he follows after Taemin. So beautiful and dazzling and suddenly at the same moment someone pops in front of him, damn that slippery, glass-like floor.

Taemin tries to stop himself, but he fails and his shoe slips miserably. He falls accidentally kicking the man’s who appeared from nowhere foot. Man falls together with Taemin in a spectacular way, spilling coffee all around the place. The coffee mugs shatter, the silver metal tray hits the floor together with plates, spoons, and sugar with a loud bang.

Taemin is laying on the floor while looking up at the white ceiling. He hurt his left arm’s elbow and his butt and it damn hurts, but well at least he didn’t fall on his broken arm. He cranes to the side where another man is laying and Taemin’s head starts to hurt as well. The man who is rolling on the floor next to him looks luxurious and he is definitely not just a random someone.

Dark blue suit and black classic shoes and nicely styled dark hair. His face looks familiar, way too familiar. Taemin can swear that he saw this man in one of the weekend soap operas which Hyugjae loves so much. He looks like Choi Minho. No. It's definitely Choi Minho, just great.

“What the hell? Are you blind or something?” Minho sits on the floor. He looks quite annoyed, no wonder.

“Taemin-ah, are you ok?” Jonghyun is faster than fast as he jumps towards Taemin and helps him to sit up as well. “Minho-ya! Are you blind yourself!?”

Minho glares towards his hyung and unfamiliar blockhead and he would definitely continue his complaints, but the man with broken arm looks quite cute. Way too cute. Minho scans Taemin from head to toes for a couple of times and grins devilishly. His facial expression shows that Minho spotted a ‘new bite’ and he rises on his feet in the speed of light hurrying towards Taemin. He grabs the younger’s upper arm and lifts him from the floor without any effort.

Jonghyun glares towards Minho with that look which says ‘don’t you even dare Choi’.

Minho notices that and rolls his eyes. Why Jonghyun always ruins his fun? “No, no, no. Let me help you. I’m such a klutz I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Minho smiles sweetly while watching Taemin intently. The way Minho looks at him definitely not an apologetic look. It looks like that behind the smiling mask devilish thoughts are hiding. This idea alone makes Taemin feel uncomfortable and he steps backwards.

Jonghyun is stuck behind him, Taemin’s ass presses straight against the elder’s crouch leaving no space for him to move, pressing the elder one against the door behind his back.

Filthy looks with which Taemin is quite familiar and it scares him like hell and his body freeze into a stone, brain occupied with fear refuses to process the rest of the world, even that he is pressed so close against Jonghyun. Minho reminds Taemin one of his bullies from school days which tried to take him against his own will. The one who tried to force Taemin to suck his dick and only God knows what else would have happened if Kibum and Hyukjae haven’t shown up and saved him.

“Instead of staring Minho-ya, ask someone to clean this mess and---“ Jonghyun places his hands on Taemin’s shoulders. Taemin jumps in surprise and like burned by elder’s touch he jumps aside, eyes wide leaving Minho and Jonghyun completely confused about what on earth just had happened.

Oxygen finally reaches Taemin’s brain and he sees two elder males looking at him, eyes wide. “I- I’m sorry.” Taemin bows low, so low that he feels like he’s almost breaking in half. His body still shakes slightly from the shock his brain unexpectedly created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minho is very loose character, but he's good person :)


	3. Meeting

\- - -

The elevator goes down. Jonghyun is talking about something, but Taemin doesn’t listen to him, drowned in his own thoughts. Choi Minho is a stunning man in reality. In dramas he plays the role of a dashing gentleman, prince charming on the white horse, but when he is not on the screen he has that hungry look which made Taemin’s skin crawl.

Taemin isn’t even planning to tell Hyukjae that he saw Minho because he isn’t ready to listen to his uncle’s complaints, why he didn’t ask for Minho’s autograph. Moreover, Hyukjae wouldn’t even believe that Minho looked at him like that. Like Taemin is some sort of prey and if Jonghyun wouldn’t be there he would pinch younger one to the floor and fuck him just then and there. It must be only Taemin's imagination it always plays tricks on him.

“Taemin-ah, are you even listening?”

“I, well… ahh.” Taemin splutters, of course, he wasn’t listening. “I’m sorry, hyung.”

Jonghyun watches him and smiles and just smiles and Taemin feels a little bit stupid, but at the same time he feels charmed by the elder’s smile and he lowers his head shyly feeling how shame starts to creep onto his face.

“I just asked, what kind of drinks do you like, Taemin-ah? I promised a cup of coffee for you, but I’m not even sure if you like it.”

“I do. I like cold coffee, hyung.” Taemin almost trips on his own words.

Somehow Taemin makes Jonghyun smile some more, because of how adorable he is. "Has anyone ever told you that you are really cute, Taemin-ah?” He isn’t lying it's just what was on his mind that's all.

“T-thank you.” Taemin watches his feet shyly with a small smile forming on his cute face.

"Taemin-ah---" Suddenly Jonghyun's phone starts to ring. Elder takes it from his pocket and frowns. "Sorry, Taemin-ah." He says apologetically. "I have to pick this one up. Hello. Yes."

Jonghyun's yeses and few plain words melt away between lowering floors of the building and Taemin just watches elder male without hearing a word, again. Taemin probably shouldn't stare that much, but he can't resist using his chance when Jonghyun is so close and not aware that Taemin obviously checking him out. When Taemin saw Jonghyun last time elder male looked quite casual, completely different from how he looks now.

Sharp dark blue suit frames Jonghyun's shoulders and perfectly suits him. White dress shirt without a single wrinkle accomplished with a smart gray tie. His light brown hair slightly parted. Ears pierced, but here are no earrings, probably, because his work requires that, but he has a single plain ring with a small white gem in a middle on his right-hand index finger. The way Jonghyun talks and looks and speaks and smiles, Taemin can swear that elder male definitely is the most charming man he ever acquainted.

Taemin was able to come there at Jonghyun's work and somehow not die from the embarrassment, somehow he managed to go this far already and the next thing he has to do is figure out if Jonghyun likes women only. Or maybe he likes men as well and Taemin has a chance, even if a small one. 'You are really cute' Taemin smiles, sweet words shouldn't go in vain.

\- - -

They are walking through the lobby, there are not many people, everyone already hurried to their break. It's a short walk towards the glass doors, Jonghyun opens it and gestures for Taemin to go first, the younger one noticeably needs air.

"T-thank you."

Jonghyun checks his watch while slipping outside after the younger one. There is still plenty of time of his lunch break and the cafe where he wants to take Taemin is just on the other side of the street. "Cafe is over there Taemin-ah." Jonghyun smiles softly.

Elder points at the small, paint in light blue place which is squished between spicy Korean chicken take away and bubble tea shop. Showcase is full of various sweet treats from small doughnuts to massive cheesecakes decorated with fruits.

Jonghyun walks into the street, wanting to save some time instead of going through the passage which is a few steps away when suddenly Taemin grabs his wrist and pulls elder male backward. He turns around and sees Taemin watching him with wide eyes. He desperately clings onto his wrist and only now perception hits Jonghyun why. It’s because of what happened two weeks ago.

_“She will be just fine. Okay. I will come tomorrow, noona.” Jonghyun whines into the phone._

_He is tired like a dog after his eight days business trip. First, long flight to China then Philippines and Japan. His plane landed five hours ago, but his luggage was lost and he had to argue with staff until he was able to prove his point. Jonghyun feels drained and everything he wants right now is to be at home. Fall to bed like a log, no shower needed, sleep is more important, sleep twenty hours straight._

_Just for second Jonghyun looks to the side and the next moment when he looks back at the road he sees a person who is standing in the middle of the road, frozen, like an animal caught in the blue headlights. Jonghyun grabs the wheel with both hands, phone falling somewhere under his feet, Sodam still talking on the other end. He tries to avoid the pedestrian turning his car to the side, maybe he was going too fast, maybe because of his a bit sleepy state Jonghyun wasn’t able to escape the collision._

_With a loud bang pedestrian hits Jonghyun’s car’s front window and it feels like Jonghyun himself shattered into a million pieces. The car stops a few meters away leaving the person laying on the road. Jonghyun’s hands still hold the wheel in a deadly grip, slightly trembling, both feet on the break, body and mind in shock. Phone laying somewhere deep down on the car floor in the darkness and Sodam whose still waiting for Jonghyun’s response. ‘Jonghyun? Do you even hear me? Jonghyun-ah?’ He doesn’t._

_Jonghyun’s peaceful life, stable job, family and everything just shattered in seconds. What if that person is dead? What if? Jonghyun is too young to go to jail. His hands, no not even his hands, his whole body is shaking. Seat belt. Where is the seat belt buckle? With numb hands, Jonghyun tries to unbuckle his seat belt, unsuccessfully. He tries once more. Finally. He opens the door and steps outside. Legs feel like jelly as he tries to walk. Gravity pulls Jonghyun against his car and he hits the back door with his side. Come on Jonghyun, you can do it. Walk. No. He can’t._

_Jonghyun can feel how his insides flip upside down, everything starts to boil, mouth full of thick salvia, he is going to puke. He definitely will. Jonghyun leans forward and bows his head down, all that disgusting feeling rises and reaches his throat. Nothing. Instead, he starts to feel dizzy, everything blurs in the corners of his eyes. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Jonghyun forgot how, but he has to learn to do it again because his brain doesn’t get enough oxygen and he needs it._

_Jonghyun sees his legs and he understands that they belong to him, but his body refuses to move. Come on stupid legs. Walk. Shake him, pinch him, slap him or whatever just wake him up from this terrible nightmare, because all of this can’t be real. It just can’t. Passersby are already surrounding the accident place, whole scenery looks like and feels like a slow movie. No. It’s a horror thriller._

_Hold on. Jonghyun’s sweaty palms slip against his car, somehow he needs to hold onto it. He needs support that he wouldn’t fall. Jonghyun takes one step forward. Another one. There is no car to support Jonghyun anymore and his steps feel like he is drunk, unable to walk in a straight line, but in the middle of the whole blur, Jonghyun still can see the person who’s laying on the road. Somehow. Somehow he manages to reach that place, manages to peek above. Glassy black eyes are watching him. Blood. A lot of blood under the person’s head and his whole laying position looks way too creepy to be real. Panic. Jonghyun feels panic._

_“My God, I just killed a person.”_

_Legs too weak to hold him standing and he slumps on the pavement at the same spot he was standing in. His head starts to feel heavy. How something like that could have happened to him? Someone kneels beside him. Takes Jonghyun by the shoulder, shakes him and asks something. Jonghyun sees lips moving, he realizes that person speaks in Korean, but what is he saying? He isn’t able to hear anything, ears blocked by the high blood pressure only heart beating in his head violently._

_The view starts to blur, Jonghyun’s brain decides to shut him out from this world and he starts to fall backwards. Maybe that someone will catch him. Save him from harsh hit against the cement. Jonghyun doesn’t deserve to be saved, not after what he has done just a few minutes ago. He falls, hits the ground, but there is no pain, no fear. Everything was swallowed by darkness._

_But the world doesn’t stop it’s still spinning._

When really bad storm ends and when everything that happened back then finishes well somehow it becomes a little bit funny.

Taemin smiles sweetly, but then he starts to laugh and somehow Jonghyun laughs as well. A gush of wind blows Taemin’s hair from his face, a huge plaster were he hit his head onto the pavement still attached to his forehead, but despite that, he still looks beautiful. Jonghyun's heart flutters, for the first time in a while and this feeling which was a forgotten concept to him. Feeling which creates warmness deep in his chest and he likes it, maybe even more than he should. But people tended to hurt each other especially when it comes to love.

After Jonghyun found out about his cheating fiance, he was hurt so badly he decided to shut all romantic relationships. He was disappointed and so unmotivated about anything which eventually made him allocate his whole time to his work. There he doesn't need to think about his own life, but Taemin reminded him that his own life also exists and that it's more real than it ever was. Even now he woken up Jonghyun's broken heart.

Their misfortune gave them the opportunity to know each other.

\- - -

Light blue interior of the café makes it look spacious and bright. The air smells like cinnamon and coffee. Jonghyun is sitting in front of Taemin, flipping through the pages of the menu. Sun shines on him from the side enlightening his perfect face and jawline, beautiful dark brown eyes and long dark eyelashes and there are so so many of them. Taemin considers himself lucky because he is there in such a nice place with such an incredible man.

They ordered, more precisely Jonghyun ordered, a slice of ‘Red Velvet’ cheesecake for each of them, cappuccino for Taemin and English tea for himself. The elder male is a regular customer there so they didn’t need to wait way too long until they were served.

Jonghyun takes a huge bite of his cheesecake which is decorated with red chocolate chips. “I really like deserts here.” He says, mouth full of cake. “I’m so rude talking with my mouth full, sorry Taemin-ah.”

“It’s fine, hyung.” Taemin knows that Jonghyun doesn’t have much time of his lunch break left, so he doesn’t mind. The elder one is in a hurry. Rather he feels a bit sad that there is not enough time for them to talk more. Small chocolate chip gets stuck on Jonghyun’s cheek and he isn’t aware while slowly sipping his tea, trying not to burn himself.

“You have cheesecake crumbles on your face, hyung.”

“Where?”

“On your left cheek.”

With his thumb, Jonghyun finds chocolate flake and wipes it. His plush, raspberry pink lips wrap around his fingertip as he sucks on it clean. Taemin swallows hard watching elder male sucking his finger. Taemin’s mind is playing dirty jokes on him. No. No. No. Why all embarrassing things always happen to him?

“Thank you.” Jonghyun smiles. Taemin blushes. The younger one is a cute and shy little baby. Jonghyun told Taemin to call him hyung, but actually, he doesn’t even know his actual age. “Taemin-ah? I actually never asked, how old are you?”

“This year, on 18th of July I will be twenty two. H-how about you hyung?”

“Twenty five.” Jonghyun finishes the last bite of his cake.

“Woah, at this age and businessman already?” Jonghyun leans closer. “Just between us Taemin-ah, actually I’m not very fond of business, but my parents raised me like that. When my mom left her job place I just took her place and---“Jonghyun’s phone starts to ring, not the first time today, interrupting their conversation. Elder one takes his phone and checks the caller ID on the screen. “I have to answer this one, sorry.”

Sun shines. Warm and bright and yellow and people behind the windows who are living their lives and hurrying somewhere twenty four seven. Jonghyun nods, rolls his eyes then sighs deeply, obviously annoyed, meanwhile, Taemin watches him, just watches and watches. Jonghyun's royal blue suit perfectly suits elder male like it was made for him, lips moving with soundless words.

Words which have no meaning for Taemin it doesn't belong to his world the same as Jonghyun - he doesn't belong to Taemin's world as well. Who Taemin tried to deceive by coming to see Jonghyun? Life is unfair, why at least one good thing can't belong in Taemin's world, just once and---.

“Maybe we can meet next time?”

“Next time?” There will be next time? Taemin’s heart skips a beat or two, he's thunderstruck stupidly.

Jonghyun takes a pen from the inner pocket of his suit jacket and writes his number on the corner of the napkin. “This is my personal number.” He pushes napkin across the table and rises from his seat. “Also, don’t worry about the bill, it’s already paid Taemin-ah.”

He rises from his seat and bows slightly. “T-thank you, hyung.”

“See you next time then, Taeminie.” Jonghyun smiles and then leaves. Before leaving the café he turns around to look at Taemin once more, a beautiful smile on his face.

Did Jonghyun really just gave his number to Taemin? Taemin takes the napkin from the table. God, he really did that. Taemin jumps happily at the same place where he sits, not noticing a waitress behind him and almost hitting her tray with his head. “S-sorry…” Taemin bows his head low, face red from embarrassment, but he is just happy, way too happy. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Taemin jumps in one spot from happiness. Is this number the answer to the question Taemin had no courage to ask?

\- - -

A long day at work finally ended. Jonghyun sorts some papers he has to look through at home until tomorrow. Where has that damn pen gone? He lifts some unnecessary papers from the table trying to find it, at the same moment Minho enters Jonghyun's office. He comes straight to the elder's desk and sits on the chair in the front.

“Hyung, who was that guy who came to visit you today?” He smirks devilishly.

“Lee Taemin.”

“Wait, are you trying to tell me that he is the same guy you ran over two weeks ago?”

“Mhm, I just hit him, actually.” Jonghyun states while still sorting the papers.

“Holy fuck, hyung. Where I should go to hit such a cute babe like him?”

“I like his character, Taemin is really cute.” Jonghyun smiles.

“His character?” Minho raises his eyebrows sarcastically. “So if you are not interested in him in any other way I would really like to know him better. It would make no difference to you hyung, you two still can be friends.”

Jonghyun shoots a deadly glare towards Minho.

“So, after all, you’re interested~?” Minho smirks. “Why whenever I’m interested you are interested as well, hyung?”

“When it happened before?”

Minho blinks then tries to remember, but actually, it never happened. “Okay hyung you have a point.” He pouts childishly.

Truth Jonghyun actually looked at the other men before, just looked and nothing more. Whenever they go somewhere Minho always finds someone 'cute' in his opinion and offers Jonghyun to try his luck, but the elder one always refuses still not able to admit that he likes men as much as he likes women, it can't be. It's not him. It's not true. Forever in denial that was destroyed by one slender figure dressed in black, easily like a house of cards. Also, there wasn’t anyone worth enough of his time meanwhile Taemin is different. He is someone who isn’t able to be explained and Jonghyun likes that, it makes him curious.

\- - -

Finally, Jonghyun comes back home. A sad and lonely ride which felt like an eternity and his apartment sunken in purple evening light looks exactly the same - sad and empty. Jonghyun sights, he is still not able to get used to living alone and probably he never will, space too big to handle for a single person. Jonghyun would be complacently lonely there if not for his favorite girl Roo who keeps him company. He drops his stuff on the floor. Whatever.

Through the corridor Roo runs towards Jonghyun, small nails of hers scraping against the wooden floor. “Hi, did you miss me?” Happily, she jumps around Jonghyun wagging her short tail. She is so tiny, so cute, Jonghyun picks her up in his arms, Roo starts to lick his face. “I guess it means you did.”

Maybe Jonghyun should eat something as well. Homemade meal? It would be nice except that he is too lazy to cook. Maybe he should order something? He decides to check the fridge first Jonghyun scans all the shelves from the top to the bottom. There is food he doesn’t remember he ever bought. Few types of different meat, vegetables, fruits, milk and orange juice. Sodam and mom bought everything as always treating him like a child who can’t look after himself. It will never be different, Jonghyun still is the youngest in their family and he always will be.

\- - -

The hot stream of the shower hits Jonghyun’s hair and shoulders. Warm water makes his mind and body a little bit lighter and he just stands under the warmness. He takes a bottle of shampoo and squeezes a generous amount into his hand. All day he expected that Taemin will text him. In the café, he looked so cute and shy and so into him, but that message never happened, yet Jonghyun still sees Taemin’s beautiful face which is stubbornly stuck in his mind. Jonghyun shampoos his hair and body.

If Taemin was shy that doesn’t mean he was into Jonghyun, maybe he is shy around everyone, why it's so difficult? “Oh, Jonghyun you are so stupid.” He washes all the soap from his hair.

Cold tiles under Jonghyun’s warm feet instead of slippers. Roo stole them again. He wraps a towel around his waist and tiptoes towards his room. There he finds the stealer comfortably stretched on his bed and happily chawing one his slippers, eh wherever Jonghyun is just too lazy to do anything about it.

Tiredly he crawls into his bed and takes his phone with him. Four missed calls from his mom and two more from Sodam, he will call them tomorrow it’s too late today anyway. He scrolls through social media. Jonghyun’s ex-girlfriend invites him to become friends on Kakao Talk.

 _‘Hell, how many accounts that woman has?’_ Jonghyun blocks her again, until next time when she decides to find him once more. Her existence in his life not even questionable, all doors for her closed and there is no space for a cheap cheater in his life. His phone buzzes with a message from Minho.

_Do Not Answer:_

_‘_ _Hyung do you want to go somewhere tonight?’_

_19:20_

_Homebody:_

_‘Not tonight.’_

_19:21_

_Do Not Answer:_

_‘You can’t stay at home forever, hyung.’_

_19:23_

_‘Hyung?’_

_19:38_

_‘Hyung?’_

_19:52_

_‘I know that you are still reading this. It shows seen you know.’_

_20:02_

_‘Hyung?’_

_20:13_

_‘You are soooo old, hyung’_

_20:15_

It’s not like Jonghyun is ignoring Minho on purpose it’s just that he doesn’t feel like going somewhere, too tired after whole week and tomorrow still work. Jonghyun knows if he won’t answer eventually Minho will give up on texting him.

_Do Not Answer:_

_‘Whatever I just go alone, like it’s the first time’_

_20:18_

Jonghyun was right, he drops his phone aside and just lays in darkness and silence, Roo already asleep. As Jonghyun’s eyes start to adjust to the dimness, the ceiling above him starts to gain orange color from city lights. Jonghyun’s phone buzzes and he grabs it like his life depends on it, maybe it’s Taemin this time?

_Unknown:_

_‘Hello, it’s Taemin.’_

_20:45_

Jonghyun smiles to himself. He feels happy that after all Taemin did texted him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of stuff to do, but I will try to finish Chapter 4 this month^^   
> Many thanks to those who reading this story :)


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